Thoughts On The Dead

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All Righty Then

Bobby was up for the part of Ace Ventura’s dad and really wanted the job.

All Righty Then

Bobby was up for the part of Ace Ventura’s dad and really wanted the job.

iDead

iDead http://wp.me/s29AlY-idead

  • Tunr Guitar-tuning app. Garcia has not installed this on his phone.
  • EphebofileWhat’s the legal age of consent for stone cold foxes in each state? Ephebofile tells you, plus the pay-version runs a background check to see if she’s the daughter of anyone important.
  • The Official Grateful Dead App Oh, wait: this doesn’t exist.
  • Wall of App This application was created by Bear and it’s about 45…

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Put The Load Right On Him

Put The Load Right On Him

The narrator of The Weight has wandered into the most passive-aggressive town I’ve ever heard of. All the poor guy wants is a little hospitality and these conniving townsfolk–seeing a sucker coming, I guess–saddle him with a dog to feed, toss him Miss Anna Lee to take care of, and make him listen to Phil sing a verse.

Later on, the townsfolk would steal the narrator’s identity, pick his pockets,…

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Bass/Guitar

bobby phil jerry acoustic (bass)

Continuing with the awful guitar theme, we come to Phil’s (unexpected) dalliance with one of those acoustic-electic bass guitars that never sounded any good and made you look like the unlucky Mexican guy who had to play the enormously fat Mexican guitar. They had to be enormous to keep that low-E string from ripping the whole thing in two before it was even near tuned up; when it was, the timbre…

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Live Forever If I Take My Time

Live Forever If I Take My Time

We ony have a few years before our skin starts to unravel: we’ll all be crab apples in August soon enough. The telomeres wind down, you see: chain links falling off the table and count down and down and there is definite check-out time. It’s just the hotel won’t tell us when it is, but they will let you know.

Billy has aged well, mostly because he is a crazy person and has been so for decades…

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No App For That

This couldn’t be more 80’s if Margaret Thatcher were fellating Garcia.

No App For That

This couldn’t be more 80’s if Margaret Thatcher were fellating Garcia.

Where’s Parish?

Bobby decided to take a few weeks off the hooch when this was the best situation he had come out of a blackout in for months. Also: Bobby feet.

Where’s Parish?

Bobby decided to take a few weeks off the hooch when this was the best situation he had come out of a blackout in for months. Also: Bobby feet.

Overheard At The Video Shoot For Touch Of Grey

Overheard At The Video Shoot For Touch Of Grey

  • Who ordered all these big-booty hos?
  • Was that the pyro or Garcia?
  • No, Bobby: none of this is being shot in 3D.
  • Well, yes, we’re  in three dimensions, but…
  • Billy just punched a gaffer in the dick.
  • I’m not kidding: who is responsible for all of these big-booty hos? We need to return them.
  • Brent, there is no space in the video for you to do your Moonwalk.
  • First off: that’s not a Moonwalk. You’re…

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Last Touch

TotD concludes Touch of Grey Day with an AUD of 12/15/86, Garcia’s comeback show. Yes, yes: AUDs are for weirdos, extremists, and recidivists, but this one requires the full-blooded jubilance of the crowd to be whole; besides, the mix is actually good for an AUD: clear and as wide as can be.

It’s a simple song: verse, chorus, a few too many more verses, the bridge-iest bridge in Dead history,…

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Wired

Wired http://wp.me/s29AlY-wired

The Dead

“Phil enjoys tinkering, yes he does.”

Shortly after this picture was taken, Phil shorted something out, which started an electrical fire that Billy tried to put out with the case of Michelob that was in his bladder. This, of course, is the worst thing to do to an electrical fire (besides start it, PHIL), and it spread quickly. The surviving members of the Dead ran out into the parking lot and…

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Bad Touch

TOG BTS

A neat behind-the-scenes show of the making of the Touch of Grey video.

It’s tough to overstate how important this four-minute piece of film was to the Dead, how much it changed the course of the next seven or eight years. Theaters (both of regular and amphi varieties) stop returning your calls when you show up with an army of smelly, broke teenagers; most cities, unlike the Gathering of the…

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Magic Touch

Phil insisted that his skeleton puppet be built with the capacity for boners. BOOOO.

Magic Touch

Phil insisted that his skeleton puppet be built with the capacity for boners. BOOOO.

Touch Me In The Morning

Bobby simply couldn’t be convinced that those weren’t his actual bones and he started shrieking and a doctor had to be called to administer a sedative.

Touch Me In The Morning

Bobby simply couldn’t be convinced that those weren’t his actual bones and he started shrieking and a doctor had to be called to administer a sedative.

'72, No Virgins

’72, No Virgins

Wherein we visit with the Gatekeeper, David Lemieunparty, to hear just the TEENSIEST FRACTIONALITY OF THE TRUTHIFICATIONS–

You’re weird today, man.

–behind the LIES that are the official story of Big Dead. Did we hear about Phil secretly being Carlos the Jackal? Seen a birth certificate for Garcia, or are we just supposed to ACCEPT that a man named Garcia born in pre-war Northern California…

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